Moving on

I started out blogging about IF but shortly after became pregnant. So I started blogging a little bit about my pregnancy journey. Now that my LO is here, I think it's time for a change. I won't forget the experience of IF and how it has changed my character, influenced my outlook on life and motherhood, and allowed me to empathize with others struggling through the very same thing. But I must move on... to motherhood.

Thanks for following.

In Love

My precious boy has arrived and he takes my breath away.

I'm so humbled by the way God has blessed us.

8 days

I cannot believe I have 8 days until my due date. 8 days.

One small bump in the road... I found out this week that I'm group B strep positive. Apparently it's not a huge deal in most cases. I just have to get 2 rounds of IV antibiotics during labor so that the baby doesn't get infected. I'm trying not to stress, but this is what I'm thinking. What if I have a really fast labor and don't get a chance to get the antibiotics or don't get both rounds? What if the antibiotics aren't effective and the baby gets infected? Why do I have to worry about this?

But then God revealed to me through some very gracious friends that he has his fingerprints all over this baby. I will not allow this to rob me of the joy of anticipating the arrival of my sweet baby boy.

So I'm feeling better about it.

8 days.

36w4d and counting down

The stitches are out.

I'm 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced.

Ahhhhhh!

Sugary sweet, sort of

No diabetes! At least most likely I don't have diabetes. I think I was given the wrong solution to drink so I'm not sure how accurate the test was but the doc doesn't want me to have to repeat it so we're just leaving it alone.

I'm 30w3d and feeling good. I recently heard from a friend who had trouble TTC and she is now pregnant. So out of 5 good friends who were struggling with infertility (or at least have gone longer than 6 months TTC), there are only 3 left. So I keep praying.

Bummed

I found out today that I failed my glucose challenge test. I have to go back on Tuesday to do the 3-hour glucose tolerance test.

Hoping for good results! Don't want to cut back on PASTA!

Home Stretch

Ok, so it's a long stretch -- 13 weeks -- but my boy and I have made it to the third trimester and I give all thanks to God. My little karate kid moves around quite a bit in there which is a pretty amazing feeling.

Another praise is that my husband has successfully made it through his surgery and is managing life without a colon. Although it's been a pretty big adjustment, he's in so much less pain and already feels as though the surgery was worth it. Surgery #2 is scheduled for September (at which point our baby will potentially be about 6 weeks old)... yikes!

The Lord is good and I am grateful.

21 weeks

We're having a boy!

Praise God he looks healthy and normal per our anatomy scan today.

My friend?

Have you had strained relationships directly related to IF?

My best friend and I are not on good terms right now. We both struggled for years to get pregnant... now I am and she's still not and our friendship is just not the same. I've been trying to be sensitive to her pain and not flaunt my pregnancy in front of her which she has interpreted as me putting a distance between us. When I have shared things with her about the pregnancy (which she told me originally that she wanted me to) she's shown such little enthusiasm that it makes me not want to tell her anything else. I don't expect cartwheels, but my goodness it's like she gives me a guilt trip for my happiness. Other friends who are struggling with IF have not acted this way toward me at all. When I told her that she just responded by saying - well fine, I'm guess I'm just a terrible friend. Ugh! This is so incredibly frustrating.

Sorry for the rant. I just don't know what else to do. I wish I could just say forget it, but it really eats at me.

Hello 2nd Trimester

I'm 13 weeks today which means I'm about 1/3 of the way through my pregnancy. It's so weird to say that because I still feel like it's just begun.

I had a cerclage done last Monday. What a crazy procedure that is. They gave me an epidural for it... so as my OB put it, "now you'll know what it's like." Well, it wasn't all that much fun, so the knowing what it's like may actually make it more dreadful. It was a pretty decent pinch in my spinal cord. Thankfully the pain only lasted a few seconds.

The procedure itself wasn't bad, but it definitely was more embarassing than anything I've ever had done. Even the 3 surgeries and HSG and multiple ultrasounds were nothing compared to my numb legs hanging in slings well above my body, naked from my belly-button down, no sheets or drapes to provide a bit of modesty, a nurse vigorously washing my girl area. Wow.

Then it took not one minute short of 5 hours to pee afterward. They only discharge you if you can walk and pee. So I completely filled my bladder and then couldn't pee. It was so uncomfortable that I had the nurse straight cath me to get the liter of urine out of my bulging bladder.

Anyway, it's all worth it, of course. I'd do it again tomorrow if I knew it would potentially give my baby a better outcome.

That same day my DH was consulting with a colo-rectal surgeon in another city. He's having a total colectomy and ileostomy done in about 6 weeks.

Praising God in the good and the challenging times.

How are all of you doing?

Reluctant to post

Hello to all. I've have been reluctant to post for several reasons.

1. The idea of being pregnant is still sinking in.
During my 2 years of infertility, I've almost just accepted that my body won't allow for conception to happen. It's just become a part of me, so to be pregnant is all new territory. Almost seems to good to be true. I'm now about 11.5 weeks pregnant and I still can't really believe it.

2. I've been holding my breath. Figuratively, of course.
With my history (wacky hormones, uterine malformation, and endo), my OB, DH, and I have been proceeding very cautiously. I thought that miscarriage was a real possibility, not to be ignored. After I got the BFP, I just kept thinking that the pregnancy was just going to disappear.

3. I set out to write about infertility.
I'm horrible at journalling. I like the idea. I like to write. I have thoughts. But I just can't get into it. So the blog was a way to journal, without actually journalling. Plus, there have been so many things that I've found amusing or ironic that I'm sure other infertiles can relate to. Now I'm pregnant. The whole flavor of the blog changes.

4. I feel for my fellow infertiles.
About 2 months ago, I was following a blog about infertility and the author got pregnant. Although I was happy for her, I stopped following her blog. I didn't want to hear about pregnancy. I wanted to be in the company of my fellow infertiles. I now know that being pregnant, doesn't erase the years of struggling. Those are important years in our lives... God has used them to help build character in DH and I. How could I regret that? But I wonder if infertiles want to read my blog anymore. I don't blame them if they don't.

Ok. So enough about that.

Quick update: I'm doing well. I got to see our little sweetheart swimming around at our last ultrasound. I haven't really gained any weight yet. I've been trying to eat all the healthy food I can stand. I'm having a cerclage done next week (yikes... a bit anxious about that).

I thank God every day for this miracle.

I can't stop reading blogs on infertility. I sincerely hope for miracles for the girls who are still waiting.

Thanks for reading.