Oh my gosh, oh my gosh

It's weird.

You play it out in your head over and over. What would I do if I got a BFP? I just imagined that I would be jumping up and down, crying, screaming, total delight.

But that's so not what happened. I just kept looking at the test and the faint extra line that I've never seen before. I repeated, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," I don't know how many times. I kept going back and looking at it, waiting for that second pink line to disappear. I went out and bought another set of 2 tests to be sure I didn't get a bad stick. Both were positive. I told my husband when he got home from work and he looked at me, cocked his head, and said "Whaaaat?"

Not how I imagined it. But I'm kind of glad about that. This was true, genuine shock.

Wowser

BFP. I'm breathlessly pregnant. I can't sleep, I can't breath. I am in shock.

Praise God.

Another funny IF'er

You've got to check out this funny story on The Science Fair Project's blog. It's not about IF, but it's pretty good.

Don't worry

I remember when we first started TTC and one month had passed and no PG. I told my SIL we were TTC and she said, "Don't worry, it took 2 months for me." Ok, that's good. Another month passed and no PG. So I talked to my friend and told her we were TTC and she said, "Don't worry, it took 4 months for me." Ok, I can handle that. Another 2 months passed and still no PG. So I talked to my cousin and told her we were TTC and she said, "Don't worry, it took 6 months for me." Well... you get the point. Six months have passed 4 times already. Maybe someday I'll be handing out the advice, "Don't worry, it took 25 months for me."

My November AF Plan

I have a plan. It's to help me feel better if AF arrives this month. I'm going to paint our bathroom (can't paint if I'm pregnant) and plan a ski weekend for our anniversary in January (can't ski if I'm too pregnant). So 2 things to look forward to. It's a win-win... I'm either pregnant -- HUGE WIN -- or I get to paint and ski -- little win.

Gotta do something to keep my mind from going nuts, right?

Not laughing, just annoyed

This isn't a funny post - I'm just annoyed. I just watched Brothers & Sisters and at the end Rebecca is left speechless holding a positive pregnancy test. She's clearly disturbed and upset and thinking, oh this is the worst thing that could happen to me. While I realize that pregnancy is not ideal in all situations, it just makes me mad. Ugh!

Sorry, I just had to vent. Grrr.

Ha!

Recently I was at a dinner for cancer survivors (not that I'm one of them, I just work with them) and there was a fabulous speaker who was a survivor herself. She was really witty and charming. Anyway, she told us to look right at the blank screen she had been using for her presentation and picture a word that represents our deepest struggle right now. Right away I pictured INFERTILITY in huge letters on the screen. Then she said to look right at that word and say "Ha!" really loud. So we all did it together. Believe it or not, it felt really good... like some repressed anger had been released in that moment. You should try it.

Hey, great idea

A nurse friend of mine and I were talking about our hair. I'm trying to grow mine out and she mentioned that I should start taking prenatal vitamins because they're good for hair. I wanted to say, "sister, if that were the case, I'd have hair down to my ankles by now." Gotta love helpful hints.

Let's play, "How many babies could I have had by now?"

It's hard enough seeing everyone around you get pregnant when you're TTC. But it's almost comical when you realize someone's gotten pregnant twice during that time. My husband's younger (much younger) cousin got pregnant, had her baby, and got pregnant again during the 2 years I've been working on getting pregnant for the first time. The hilarious part is that my sister-in-law (who didn't know that I was TTC at the time) told me it took their cousin a while to get pregnant. I think "a while" actually meant 2-3 months. Wowser.

Funny IF'ers

I had to link to Ambivalent Womb's blog because there's a really funny part about acupuncture: More hilarity found here.

Any funny out there?

Nothing too funny has happened recently so I don't have much to write. Anybody got any funny stories or amusing anecdotes to share?

Collection time

We were having my DH's sperm tested about a year ago to rule out his contribution to our fertility problem. The doc (who's Catholic) wanted us to use a condom that has tiny holes in it so that most of the "stuff" is collected, but some gets through so as not to be used as a contraceptive. (Note: I'm not Catholic, but decided to go along with it anyway.) During the act, the condom broke, unbeknownst to either of us. After the deed is done we see that there's nothing collected. Where is it? I stand up and it plops on the floor. Oh. There it is.

Only infertiles...

...buy pregnancy tests in bulk.

I just realized over the weekend how funny it is that I currently have 8 tests in my drawer. It made me think, "Ok, I'm good for a couple months." A couple months! Eight pregnancy tests are more than most people take in their lifetime!

12 hours of fertility

You know what's funny?

I used to take BCP's every morning and then skipped the placebo week altogether. So come Sunday after my period I would start up a new pack. Well, one time about 3 years ago (a year before we started TTC) I forgot to take my pill a particular Sunday morning. Sunday evening my husband and I were...you know, and right in the middle of it I said, "wait! I forgot to take my pill!" I ran to take it and then proceeded with... you know. So I thought that 12 hours of not taking the pill would get me pregnant. I've been off the pill now for 25 months. That's a little bit funny.

4 liters of misery

You know what's not funny? I'm on my 4th bowel prep this year. What is funny is when I hear someone complaining about doing a bowel prep for the first time at age 50. One in 50 years. I'm on number 4 in 2009. Hilarious.

Bad timing

My best friend (who's going through this trying-to-get-pregnant dance, too) was about a week late for her period. Apparently she's never late so of course she thinks she's pregnant but home tests all say negative. She went to the doctor who told her that her endo might be back. She's freaking out because it was a really bad surgery years ago (thought she could have ovarian cancer, etc). The doc sends her to the hospital to get a pregnancy test in the ER. She waits there forever for them to call her. The nurse finally gets to her and the very moment she stands up she feels her period starting. She walks slowly up to the nurse wanting to say, "Nevermind" but it took so much effort to get to this point that she went ahead with the test anyway! Now that's funny. Ok, so funny in a twisted way... but we can laugh about it now :)

What are YOU having?

Several months ago I got a text from my friend who was pregnant at the time. "We're having a bouncing baby boy!" it said. I wanted so much to write back and say, "Yeah? Well, I'm having SURGERY!" But I refrained. She has no idea that I'm subfertile (as my doctor puts it... what a nice guy).

Ok, so...

Here goes. I've never blogged before. But I thought, what can it hurt. I get equally encouraged and frustrated reading others' blogs about infertility. I don't always want to hear the gritty details some of them contain because they're not my details. But then it's so great when someone has a happy ending after such a long bleak struggle which helps me think positive. So I thought, instead of blogging about my stats (the numerous surgeries, dpo's, cycles, treatments, etc), maybe I could just post about the irony and humor found in infertility. Oh it's there. And it's pretty funny, but only to us girls who belong to the secret sisterhood that nobody signed up for. So please, join me in the hilarity.