Hello 2nd Trimester

I'm 13 weeks today which means I'm about 1/3 of the way through my pregnancy. It's so weird to say that because I still feel like it's just begun.

I had a cerclage done last Monday. What a crazy procedure that is. They gave me an epidural for it... so as my OB put it, "now you'll know what it's like." Well, it wasn't all that much fun, so the knowing what it's like may actually make it more dreadful. It was a pretty decent pinch in my spinal cord. Thankfully the pain only lasted a few seconds.

The procedure itself wasn't bad, but it definitely was more embarassing than anything I've ever had done. Even the 3 surgeries and HSG and multiple ultrasounds were nothing compared to my numb legs hanging in slings well above my body, naked from my belly-button down, no sheets or drapes to provide a bit of modesty, a nurse vigorously washing my girl area. Wow.

Then it took not one minute short of 5 hours to pee afterward. They only discharge you if you can walk and pee. So I completely filled my bladder and then couldn't pee. It was so uncomfortable that I had the nurse straight cath me to get the liter of urine out of my bulging bladder.

Anyway, it's all worth it, of course. I'd do it again tomorrow if I knew it would potentially give my baby a better outcome.

That same day my DH was consulting with a colo-rectal surgeon in another city. He's having a total colectomy and ileostomy done in about 6 weeks.

Praising God in the good and the challenging times.

How are all of you doing?

Reluctant to post

Hello to all. I've have been reluctant to post for several reasons.

1. The idea of being pregnant is still sinking in.
During my 2 years of infertility, I've almost just accepted that my body won't allow for conception to happen. It's just become a part of me, so to be pregnant is all new territory. Almost seems to good to be true. I'm now about 11.5 weeks pregnant and I still can't really believe it.

2. I've been holding my breath. Figuratively, of course.
With my history (wacky hormones, uterine malformation, and endo), my OB, DH, and I have been proceeding very cautiously. I thought that miscarriage was a real possibility, not to be ignored. After I got the BFP, I just kept thinking that the pregnancy was just going to disappear.

3. I set out to write about infertility.
I'm horrible at journalling. I like the idea. I like to write. I have thoughts. But I just can't get into it. So the blog was a way to journal, without actually journalling. Plus, there have been so many things that I've found amusing or ironic that I'm sure other infertiles can relate to. Now I'm pregnant. The whole flavor of the blog changes.

4. I feel for my fellow infertiles.
About 2 months ago, I was following a blog about infertility and the author got pregnant. Although I was happy for her, I stopped following her blog. I didn't want to hear about pregnancy. I wanted to be in the company of my fellow infertiles. I now know that being pregnant, doesn't erase the years of struggling. Those are important years in our lives... God has used them to help build character in DH and I. How could I regret that? But I wonder if infertiles want to read my blog anymore. I don't blame them if they don't.

Ok. So enough about that.

Quick update: I'm doing well. I got to see our little sweetheart swimming around at our last ultrasound. I haven't really gained any weight yet. I've been trying to eat all the healthy food I can stand. I'm having a cerclage done next week (yikes... a bit anxious about that).

I thank God every day for this miracle.

I can't stop reading blogs on infertility. I sincerely hope for miracles for the girls who are still waiting.

Thanks for reading.