Have you had strained relationships directly related to IF?
My best friend and I are not on good terms right now. We both struggled for years to get pregnant... now I am and she's still not and our friendship is just not the same. I've been trying to be sensitive to her pain and not flaunt my pregnancy in front of her which she has interpreted as me putting a distance between us. When I have shared things with her about the pregnancy (which she told me originally that she wanted me to) she's shown such little enthusiasm that it makes me not want to tell her anything else. I don't expect cartwheels, but my goodness it's like she gives me a guilt trip for my happiness. Other friends who are struggling with IF have not acted this way toward me at all. When I told her that she just responded by saying - well fine, I'm guess I'm just a terrible friend. Ugh! This is so incredibly frustrating.
Sorry for the rant. I just don't know what else to do. I wish I could just say forget it, but it really eats at me.
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Thanks for checking in with me. Hope you've been feeling well. How is the pregnancy going?
ReplyDeleteI must say that no matter what IF takes a toll on our friendships. I struggle with this too, from the non-PG side of the coin. Almost all of my friends have had babies during our 4 year struggle and as happy as I am for them and as much as I love their kids, it does make our absence that much more apparent for us. But because I'm aware of this, I try hard to overcome it. Sometimes I do better than other times. But the non-sharing and lonely struggle create a gap between friends. I'm just hopeful when this finally works for us I can repair some of that.
I know it must be really painful given this is your BF. She should be making an effort. You'd do it for her if situations were reversed, I'm sure. Good luck!
Well, i understand your frustration with her, because you were in teh same boat and you want her to be happy for you, and I'm sure you are thinking that if this was the other way around, you would be thrilled for her and would not act like her.
ReplyDeleteBut it' hard for her. I'm sure. And what u wrote about her makes me think that she is just really hurt, in pain, because she feels like she is left behind, she is alone and she might think that this pregnancy thing will never happen to her. and because she is unhappy and scared and sad with her situation, she projects it to others around her. And you just happen to be one of them. I think you should just give her some time, tell her you love her, and you are there for her, and you don't want to sacrifice your friendship over this. Just let her know that you are there for her, and whenever she is ready to talk to you, or be with yo she can let you know. But don't force anything on her, and especially don't try to reason with her. She is hurt enough already.
by the way , congrats on your baby :)